That's it, I'm Getting a Dog.

I don't have kids. It's not that I don't like them, per se. I like other people's kids just fine. I'm just way too selfish to have any of my own right now. Thankfully, that seems to be the case with many Angelenos. Most people here are very focused on their careers and, thus, don't start having kids until they're in their late 30s.

However, I've recently been made aware of an incident that makes me rethink the idea of having kids completely. Like, maybe I'd be better off if I ripped my uterus out right now. Perhaps you know what I'm talking about. Have you heard of Jessi Slaughter? She's an 11 year old girl that made several YouTube videos after being harrassed online. She told her cyber bullies that she was going to "stick a Glock in your mouth and make a brain slushy." Her father even got into the mix, making an angry video and spawning catch phrases like "cyber police" and "ya dun goofed." I'm not going to post the videos here. You can see all that, and more, with just a quick Google search.

I admit, I'm kind of out of it when it comes to the new hot websites. I'm on Facebook. I check Perez Hilton several times a day. Other than that, I've got nothing. I don't even use Twitter, because I don't understand it. I take the attitude of "You damn kids and your music...get off my lawn!" Yeah, I'm old.

This incident has spawned a multitude of articles about cyber bullying, safety on the internet and the validity of sites like Tumblr and 4chan. However, I'm left with a much more basic question: what is happening to our children? This girl is ELEVEN YEARS OLD. When I was eleven years old, I was...well, I was in sixth grade. I think I had a crush on Jason Priestley. I listened to Mariah Carey (still do, actually). My friends and I thought that a big adventure was going to a movie at the dollar theatre and then getting some fries at Lindy's.

Granted, we didn't have the internet when I was in sixth grade. In fact, I think that my generation is the last to grow up remembering a time before the internet. Certainly, we knew nothing of "sexting." It was a big deal to even KISS!

Look, I know I sound old. I do. But I can't helped but be disturbed by how fast kids are growing up these days. They know about things that I didn't know about until I was in college. And they don't seem to understand the consequences of their actions. If you take a picture of yourself naked, someone will see it and, more than likely, someone will do something bad with it. It is not private. It will come back to haunt you. It is ALWAYS a bad idea.

So, what to do, then? Who's to blame? Is it the media? Bad parenting? Cow hormones in food? I don't know. Maybe no one is to blame. Maybe this is just a shift in our society. Maybe I'm the one that needs to get up to speed with today's kids.

I'm not sure. All I do know that is if I ever do have kids, I will watch them VERY closely. Or, better yet, maybe I'll just stick to dogs.

Vintage Rehab

No, not the kind of rehab that Lindsay Lohan will soon be going to (too soon?). I'm talking about FASHION REHAB!

In my novel "Becoming Magdalene" Maggie Vega is obsessed with clothes, especially those with designer labels. In her defense, when I was her age (and I was when I wrote the book) I adored the idea of designer labels and Rodeo drive style clothes. However, I live on the east side of LA (not east LA, the east side. Big difference) and you are totally influenced by your neighborhood. I live in hippie/hipster central so my tastes have evolved to funky vintage threads and big jewelry.

Parenthetically, I think that my sheer adoration for the TV show "Mad Men" has also inspired my love of 60s duds. I mean, who wouldn't want to be a Betty or a Joan? Their clothes are so fab! Big prints! Full skirts! Hats! Loves it.

One of my friends is also a big vintage buff so she and I go hunting a lot. Last week, I found an awesome Betty Draper-esque bed coat for a dollar. A DOLLAR! However, it had a few rust stains down the front. I decided to take it home to see what could be done. For a dollar, how could I not?

It turns out there is a very easy fix for rust stains and it's organic, too! Simply rub lemon juice onto the stain and let the garmet dry in the sun. Wash as usual and VOILA! Good as new!

Now if I could just turn myself into a seamstress, life would be so awesome...

Shameless Self Promotion

Anyone out there a fan of Selena Quintanilla Perez, the queen of tejano music? She was murdered in 1995. Jennifer Lopez played her in the movie of her life. Any fans? Well, I am. A HUGE FAN. Like, I went to Texas specifically to visit Selena's grave and see the museum of her life that her family maintains. Hey, everyone has something.

Recently, I helped a fellow fan out with his Selena site. It's Selena-Quintanila.net and you should definitely check it out. Be sure to take a peek at the articles that I wrote for the site, regarding the Selena movie soundtrack (my net handle is LaEscritora). Peep my stuff here: Selena Movie.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled weekend. Happy Fourth of July to all American readers out there!

Star Wars vs. American Pie

I know what you're thinking, just by looking at the title of this entry. "Blashphemer! How dare you! We're kicking you out of the Nerd Group!"

Actually, you may want to kick me out of the group anyway when you learn that I'm not really a huge Star Wars fan. I know! On paper, it really seems like I should be. Genre movie fan? Check! Knowledgeable about the Whedon-verse? Check! Versed in comic books and video games? Check mate. Just not a huge Star Wars fan. I think the movies are FINE, but I'm not a Warrier? Warlockian? What's the Star Wars equivilant of Trekkie?

ANYWAY. Last weekend, the BF and I were having dinner and I had a couple of delicious margaritas. This lead to me comparing the two trilogies Star Wars (I refuse to acknowledge Episodes 1-3) and American Pie (Likewise, I refuse to acknowledge all of the terrible sequels that followed American Wedding). Clearly, the plots vary greatly, but think of the film in terms of careers launch and careers deferred.

Let's compare.

Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) vs. Jason Biggs (Jim)
Mark Hamill is Luke Skywalker. End of story. Yes, he's had a lot of luck with voiceover work and he's a good actor in his own right. Yet he will always be known as LUKE. Likewise, poor Jason Biggs will always be the dude that had sex with a pie. I'm sure that both thought that they had career making roles on their hands. Sadly, it didn't work out that way.

Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) vs. Shannon Elizabeth (Nadia)
Both hotties primarily remembered for not wearing a lot of clothes. Using the Carrie Fisher theory, I predict that Shannon Elizabeth will have a career resurrection later in life when people will discover that she's actually pretty funny.

Harrison Ford (Han Solo) vs. Eugene Levy (Jim's Dad) vs. Seann William Scott (Stifler)
This was the subject of great debate. Of course, Harrison Ford was the biggest star to come out of the Star Wars series. That would be difficult to argue (feel free to do so in the comments), but what about the American Pie series? Those movies made Eugene Levy relevant again. He's turning up left and right these days. Likewise, Seann William Scott has worked consistently (the quality of his movies is also up for debate). So...thoughts? Who's the Han of the Pie flicks? Jim's Dad or Stifler?

I know you're probably thinking that I should include Alyson Hannigan (Michelle) in this post, but come on. Girlfriend was Willow on Buffy. Saucy lines about band camp aside, that's a pretty badass career move right there.

And just like that, we've arrived back at my nerd-dom.

Escape from LA

I'm sure you've all heard by now. Times are tough. Unless you've been living in a cave with your fingers in your ears, you know that I've just made the understatement of the century.

Los Angeles is being hit particularly hard. So many of my friends are out of work, and not just the industry peeps either (although a lot of them are industry peeps). It's slim pickings for job seekers, no matter how qualified you are.

Still, we always joke and say "Yes, everything kind of sucks right now, but at least we live in LA." "Sure, it takes an hour to go eight miles, but at least we live in LA." "Yes, the earth just randomly shook on its own, but at least we live in LA." Most of us grew up wanting nothing more than to live and work in HOLLYWOOD! so we're able to forgive a lot of faults.

So, imagine my shock when I had this conversation with a dear friend recently:

Me: How's it going? How's the job hunt?
Dear Friend: Not so great. In fact, the boyfriend and I are thinking of moving to Texas.
Me: Oh, I know that feeling. I just tried to convince my Beloved that we should abandon everything and move to Santa Barbara to live in a trailer on a beach.
Dear Friend: Yeah, but we're really leaving.
Me: Yeah, okay...wait, you're serious?
Dear Friend: Yeah, we love LA, but...we just can't win here. It's time to think about the future.

Wow. First off, I will miss her tons when she goes. She's a dear friend and a wonderful person. Texas is definitely gaining an amazing couple. And, it's definitely LA's loss.

There seems to be some kind of flight from LA lately. More and more people are leaving the city for greener pastures (or snowier pastures, or more mountainy pastures, or whatever). My Dear Friend is moving to Texas. My BFF moved to Las Vegas three months ago. My Buddy keeps talking about moving to Arizona.

Is Hollywood losing some of its glitz and glamour? I don't think so, but I'm one of those crazy people that spends an hour and ten minutes in traffic just to go across the city. I understand what it means to get burned out on a place. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Los Angeles is HARD.

So, what do you think? Is the grass really greener on the other side, or is it bad everywhere?

PS Speaking of grass, my gerainium and basil plants are still alive. So, that's something at least.

Indoor Gardening

In addition to trying my hand at cooking, I'm also attempting to garden. Like the cooking, I blame this on my mother who managed to raise three kids, cook a wonderful and creative meal every night, always look amazing and grow her own vegetables and herbs in the backyard of our suburban Chicago home. Really Mom. That's a lot for one girl to live up to. Especially an LA transplant who used to think that having extra thyme meant that she could stay out partying a little while longer.

However, I find myself becoming more and more domestic with age. We recently added a ten gallon aquarium and 4 danio fish to our household and I decided that I wanted to try my hand at plant life, too.

The problem?

Our apartment has a north-south exposure. None of that yummy morning or afternoon sunlight pounds through the windows. That makes for a good thing in the summer: lower A/C bills in the sweltering CA heat. But what of my plants?

I decided to just go ahead and try it. What the heck? How much damage could I really do?

Well...there's probably a goodly amount of dirt behind the bed now (our bed is under the window and the plants are on the windowsill. You see the bind I'm in), but I have learned that you can, in fact, grow lavendar and rosemary indoors. Both of those plants are doing well! However, you cannot grow cilantro, snapdragons and, possibly, geraniums indoors. Those did...less than well. I think the folks at Home Depot grew sick of seeing my smiling face. *sigh* I hope our next apartment has a balcony with some sun.

Oh, well. At least the fish are still alive.

Elisabeth and Aida ~ Parte Uno

I'm not much of a cook. My mom is an AWESOME cook, so I never really felt the need to learn while I was living close enough for her to feed me. Why bother when you have the master making you dinner?

However, my mother lives in Chicago. And I live in Los Angeles. Thus, I can't exactly pop round for dinner on a weekly basis. If I want to eat a real home cooked meal I have to cook it. At home.

I've had some disasters. There were the ribs that were a disaster of Clark Griswoldian proporitions. There were the chocolate chip cookies that somehow turned out salty (yeah, I have no idea either). But, I've been getting better. I can cook lots of things now and I haven't poisioned myself or my Beloved even once.

My darling mother is thrilled with my new found culinary abilities and gifted me with a copy of Aida Gabilondo's "Mexican Family Cooking" for Christmas (actually, the book was technically a gift from the dog. My family is a little weird like that). I've been trying to work my way though it, little by little. While I could never aspire for a "Julie and Julia" situation (despite the title of this entry) I thought it might be fun to document a couple of my tries.

Today, I found myself with some free time (read: I was avoiding writing script notes), so I decided to make some salsa casera. I chopped tomatoes, onions and jalapenos, plucked some cilanto from my windowsill herb garden and gave it a go.

The result?

A little watery and maybe fewer tomatoes next time, but for a first attempt? A definite win. Ole!