Hash Tags and a Hilarious Line from Family Guy

Does anyone watch Family Guy? I know the humor isn't for everyone, but I really enjoy it. One of their running gags is that Brian, the snarky talking dog, is a failed writer. On

a recent episode he talks about giving up his dream after his first book is a terrible failure. Stewie, the psychopathic talking baby, responds with a classic line:

"You can't give up writing. It's the only thing giving your alcoholism any credibility."

Oh, Family Guy. Hilarious. Off color, sure, but my guess is that Ernest Hemmingway and Truman Capote would have laughed, too.

I don't Tweet. It's one of those things that I feel a little old for. A friend of mine swears that most Twitter members (Tweeters?) are folks in their twenties, but I don't know. I still feel like "You damn kids and your music. Get off my lawn."

However, I do love the "hash tag" thing that's happening on Twitter. I feel like it opens up tons of comedic possibilities. I want to start using it in daily life, like on Facebook or texting or instant messages or random emails. Really, think of the potential...

FACEBOOK STATUS:

Elisabeth Fitzgerald is avoiding work but spending quality time with TiVo. #ProcrastinationMeansYourCreditCardDebtWillNeverBePaid #RealLifeShouldBeLikeLawandOrder

TEXT MESSAGE:

323.555.0185: Dude, wat happnd 2 u lst nite? U left the club early. :(

310.555.6793: Met an awesome girl, went to her place. It wuz da bomb! #BadDecisions #CoyoteUgly #DoesThisLookLikeAWartToYou

INSTANT MESSAGE:

Friend 1: Hi!

Friend 2: I am away from my computer right now. #Lying #PretendingToHaveALife

EMAIL:

Dear Boss,

I will be late today. I have an emergency doctor's appointment but I hope it will go quickly.

Thanks,

Employee #PossibleJobInterview #TooMuchPartying

Yeah, I think we need to start hash tagging more. It can only lead to good things.

For example, I could tag this post #GoWorkOnYourBook #FamilyGuyReadsSouls. Or just #ThanksForSpendingTimeHere

T Minus an Hour and a Half

...until it's November 1st. And you know what that means?

NANO WRIMO!

(National Novel Writing Month)

Good luck to all those participating. I'll catch you on the flip side.

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions...

Well, I still have some more movies to post but I am not sure that I am going to make my 31 Horror Movies in 31 Days goal. I had to return to Chicago to deal with a family emergency, and my viewing schedule got all messed up. Damn it all! I tried to watch some scary movies at home, but I was forced to sleep on my parents' couch (with the dog on my chest) and sometimes my father likes to stay up late watching "Gettysburg" which is fine, except that he knows every line and it's not really a scary movie. Oh, and it has a lot of horses. Why are horses bad, you ask? Well, remember the aforementioned dog? You know, the one that was sleeping on my chest? Well, said dog either really likes or really hates horses. We're not sure. Regardless, when he sees one on the TV he jumps up, goes flying at the TV and barks loudly at the horses. When they're not on screen, he has to check behind to the television to see where they've gone to. Eventually he calms down and goes back to where he was (sleeping on me). Unfortunately for me, there are a ton of horses in "Gettysburg," so my night consisted of the dog jumping on and off of my chest. Who knew that such a cutie pie could cause so much trouble?

Never fear, though, I am still diligently watching horror flicks and will update with all my viewings and my thoughts after Halloween. I know, you can't wait, right? Patience is a virtue, dear friend.

However, apropos of nothing, I will share with you this awesome vintage dress that I found at the dollar sale over the weekend. It was a dollar! It's awesome! I can't wait to wear it! A friend is having a party at a swanky Hollywood club next month...what do you think? Too much? Not enough? Hey, Elisabeth, it's not 1970?

You can just ignore Ol' Mr. Bones on the doorknob. He's just hanging out until All Hallow's Eve.

A Letter.

Dear Pinched Nerve in My Neck,

Please stop being pinched. It's hurting me. It's also rendering me unable to do certain things. Like write. Or hold my head up without pain. Or eat soup. Do you know how hard it is to eat soup when you can't tilt your neck down? Really difficult. And I really like soup.

So, please unpinch yourself if you can. It would be much appreciated.

Love You Lots,
Elisabeth

31 Days of Halloween

October is my absolute favorite month of the year. Besides being my the month in which my Beloved was born and my parents were married it is also the month in which we celebrate HALLOWEEN! Yes, friends, this is the month of all things scary. Ghosts, goblins, things that go bump in the night...I love 'em all. Every October I make it my perogative to watch a scary movie daily. It makes me happy and I like to share my happiness with a world. So, I've decided to post about my scary movie watching experiences. Enjoy!

ALIEN

This was a double whammy. It's also on Empire's 500 Movies to See Before You Die, which I am trying to work my way through. ALIEN is an amazing movie and one that should be seen by everyone. It's scary, holds up really well and features Sigourney Weaver kicking ass. Check it out!


MUM and DAD

This movie isn't for everyone. It's pretty violent. It's a British movie about a girl who is kidnapped by a family that has an...odd lifestyle. The acting is pretty good, and I found myself actually caring about the characters, which is rare in a horror film.


CHRISTINE

Aah, a classic. A movie based on a Stephen King book that is actually good. Another rarity in the horror world. This movie taught me to fear classic cars. And also to kind of be in awe of them. What does that say about me?


THE NEW DAUGHTER

Um....Kevin Costner. In a direct to DVD horror movie. That I got for free from Redbox. 'Nuff said.

AMITYVILLE 2: THE POSSESSION

This is a complete rip-off of THE EXORCIST and, for some incomprehensible

reason, I can't get enough of it. It seems like it takes

place before the first AMITYVILLE movie, but no real time line is ever given.

The title pretty much explains the movie. It's a POSSESSION!

LET ME IN

This is currently playing in theatres, possibly in one near you. It's the American remake of the

fantastically awesome Swedish film LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. And, really, it's pretty much the same movie as the original. I enjoyed it greatly, but it furthered my theory that people need to learn to read subtitles. Check out the original from Netflix or take a date to the theatre to catch the American version of this excellent vampire flick. You won't be dissapointed.

COMMUNE

This is a truly independent movie. Low budget, smaller actors...but, still, an interesting story and very good direction. The bonus is that this film was written, directed and produced by a woman and I always support my fellow Ladies of Cinema. There aren't enough films by women, so COMMUNE was a breath of fresh air in that respect.

SLEEPAWAY CAMP 3: TEENAGE WASTELAND

Another awesome 80s horror movie. I have all three of these movies, but I chose to watch them backwards. Are they better that way? Meh, probably not. The best part about these slasher flicks is that they know exactly what they are -- B Level Gory Horror -- and they embrace it. Combine relatives of famous people (Pamela Springsteen, Tracy Griffith), sassy one liners, absurd deaths, paper thin characters...80s horror at its best.

TRAIN

Despite the presence of AMERICAN BEAUTY's Thora Birch, this horror movie set in Eastern Europe is essentially a low rent version of HOSTEL. And as I didn't really care much for HOSTEL in the first place, I was less than thrilled by its imitator.

SLEEPAWAY CAMP 2: UNHAPPY CAMPERS

My personal favorite out of the triology. Here we get to see an adult Angela Baker and what has become of her. Poor Angela. She still can't catch a break at camp, but that's okay. She'll show those bad kids whose boss! Pamela Springsteen (sister of Bruce) is the psycho camper and Renee Estevez (sister of Emilio and Charlie Sheen) is the virginal girl that may or may not ma

ke it. This film is completely worth watching for the death of one character...a nasty "Mean Girl." Watch it and you'll see what I mean.

SARAH'S CHILD

This movie about a woman who wants a child so badly that she spontaneously made one appear was more like a Lifetime movie than a genuine horror flick. Yeah, the child may or may not have been evil but it was hard to look past the lousy production values and over acting long enough to care.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2

Full confession: I LOVED Paranormal Activity. Like, LOVED it. If someone comes to my house and they haven't seen it, I insist that they watch it. I think that it's an excellent horror movie. It's scary, effective and the relationship between the main characters is real and compelling.

Paranormal 2 is more of the same scares, but they're still effective. And I loved the way they kept the original main characters in the story. If you've seen, and enjoyed, Paranormal 2 then be sure to check out Paranormal 2.

976-EVIL

Fun fact: this was directed by Robert "Freddy Krueger" England. It's a fun film, about a dangerous 976 number that gives callers more than they bargained for. If you dig 80s horror movies, then this one is for you.

976-EVIL 2

Let's be honest here. The first movie wasn't that great. The sequel was not as good. Nuff said?

HELLRAISER 2

The first three Hellraiser movies are awesome! The others...not so much. Especially once they put Pinhead in space. I firmly believe that every horror franchise jumps the shark when they decide to do a space movie. That said, the second Hellraiser was a very good sequel. It picked up right where the first left off and it didn't spare the gore. Viva Pinhead!

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE

Yet another exorcism movie that wants to be, but isn't, The Exorcist. This one is lucky enough to feature amazing performances from Jennifer Carpenter, Laura Linney and Tom Wilkinson. It's more of a courtroom drama than a horror movie, but there are enough scary scenes to drive fear into the heart of anyone that believes in evil.

LEATHERFACE: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III

I own this on DVD. Don't judge me. It's fairly hilarious and has a young Viggo Mortensen as one of the cannibalistic killers. That said, it's really subpar. Although, not as bad as the Texas Chainsaw remake with Jessica Biel.

MY SUPER PSYCHO SWEET SIXTEEN

Why did TiVo record "My Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen" for me? Why did I watch it? It should have been called "montage of scantily clad teenagers set to music I don't recognise because I am ten years beyond MTV's target demographic." And there was underage drinking. CHILDREN! Be good.

UNEARTHED

This film was featured After Dark's 8 Films to Die for fest. Evil things live underground and kill when they're awoken. Meh. I liked it when it was Tremors.

UNREST

Another of the 8 Films to Die for, this one about a medical student whose cadaver has deadly intentions. Not great, but definitely not terrible. A solid entry to that film festival.

MY SUPER PSYCHO SWEET 16 PART 2

Okay, I totally asked TiVo to record this for me. And I'm not even sorry! It was super fun. A girl was lit on fire and then ran though a party. There was a twist ending. And more montage hilarity. Well, played, MTV. Well played indeed.

SAW

Oh, Saw franchise. What will I do now that you aren't releasing a new movie every Halloween? Granted, I havent'seen one in the theatres since Saw III, but still. It's the end of an era. And, to celebrate that I decided to watch the first, and best, of the series.

RINGU

The Japanese film that "The Ring" was based on. The rare thing about both Ringu and The Ring is that they are both terrific movies. Scary in similar yet not exactly the same way. I actually prefer Ringu because it has more of the mysticism that Japanese horror movies are famous for.

AUDREY ROSE

I love this 1970s horror movie starring a young Anthony Hopkins. It's about reincarnation and what happens when the soul is not at rest. It's not particularly scary, but it is very intriguing.

THE EXORCIST

Hands down, the scariest movie of all time. I'm not saying that to be cool. It's legitimately terrifying. When I told my mother that I was going to watch it on Halloween, her response was "Alone?! In the dark?! I'll pray for you." Maybe it's just because I was raised Catholic, or maybe it's because Linda Blair's performace is epically scary, but this is one of the few movies that made me lose sleep at night.

Well, that's that. Happy Halloween, everyone. Be safe and don't overdose on candy!

Shiny Objects!

Some days I feel like I may have a touch of ADD. I just cannot stay on track with anything. I swear, half hour sitcoms were invented for me, because I can't concentrate on anything for longer than 20 minutes.

(To demonstrate, I just had to stop writing this blog in order to IM my friend a picture of the truly unfortunate bangs that Courteney Cox sported in SCREAM 3. Seriously sad. Who did that to that poor woman?

And, can we just talk about the fact that everyone and their mother was in SCREAM 3? Patrick Dempsey! Parker Posey! Carrie Fisher! Scott Foley! Jenny McCarthy! Patrick Warburton! Freakin' Jay and Silent Bob!)

I'm sorry, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Attention span of a gnat. Well. Think I proved my point on that one.

Unfortunately, the same thing can happen while writing. You're plowing along on one story and it's going B-E-A-utifully. Things are flowing, banter is witty, characters are arching and then it just...stops. Maybe you write yourself into a corner. Maybe you're faced head on with a scene you don't really want to write. But suddenly, it's not so new and shiny anymore.

But, wait, what's that? Why it's a NEW idea! A pretty, fresh idea full of limitless potential. It's so tempting to give up on the hard thing and just start writing the new story. After all, new is always better, right?

Wrong.

Hey, new is great. But, hey, I'm a vintage girl at heart. There are some beautiful treasures out there, just waiting to be rehabilitated. So, take notes on that new idea. It may turn out to be a good one. Just don't give up on the story at hand. No matter what your attention span may be, that story was new once too.

Blogging Random Thoughts from the Emmys.

No, I'm not there. I wish, kind of. I've done the award show thing and it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's much more fun to sit on the couch, drink wine and make comments. In fact, I think I'm going to share some comments with you! I'm not live blogging, per se, but you know...I'm pre-recorded for an earlier telecast blogging. Don't worry. I'm not going to comment on things that I don't find particularly interesting.

Loving the opening number. Jon Hamm dancing! Also Jane Lynch rocks!

Jon Hamm + Betty White presenting Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy? There's nothing I don't like about that sentence.

Yay for Eric Stonestreet! Love "Modern Family"! (PS Is Jesse Tyler Ferguson crying because he's happy for his co-star or because he didn't win? Thoughts?)

Sophia Vergara's dress is lovely. Gold! Sparkly! Cute accent! Am I the only one that hasn't ever seen "The Big Bang Theory"? And these jokes are falling flat. You know who won't win an Emmy for writing? The Emmys. Hooray for more "Modern Family" love and hooray for writing!

JANE LYNCH for the win of Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy! Hell to the yes! My former company did a movie with her and I just love her to death. Go Jane! And she's from the South Side of Chicago! I officially could not love her more.

Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry presenting? Is it 1998?

George Clooney. That's a whole lot of yes right there.

Best actor in a comedy....I guess Alec. I was wrong. Maybe I should start watching this "Big Bang" thing.

Ooh, Kerri Russell is wearing hot pink while she presents with Will Arnett. I like it! I also like Will Arnett. I'm just saying.

Writing in a drama series...I feel it necessary to comment on the writing awards. I'm going "Mad Men" but just because I heart that show times a million. And....I was RIGHT! Go "Mad Men"!

Are we really reading from Twitter on the Emmys? Really? Also, am I the only person that doesn't have Twitter?

Oh, but it's okay. Nathan Fillion is here now. He'll make it better.

I don't watch enough TV apparantely, because Joel McHale and Jeff Probst are the only things I've been excited about in quite awhile.

Oh, and a writing award! Hoorah! Best Writing in a Variety Series goes to...the Tony Awards. Uh, okay then. See you when something else interesting happens.

Oh, Ricky Gervais. I just love you so very, very much.

George Clooney wins the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award. I fell in love with George Clooney when he was first on ER back in the day. Still adore him. And so glad that someone is going to give an honorary award speech that I actually want to hear. Thanks, George.

Uh oh. The part with the dead people. I've always forgotten some and then I feel bad. Like, "Oh, shoot, they're dead?!" Wait...did they just put Corey Haim's name on a picture of Fred Savage? Did that just happen?

I've liked Claire Danes since "My So Called Life." I wish she worked more.

Okay, so I think I may be wrong about the Haim/Savage thing. Apparantely, they just look(ed) a lot alike. Whew.

Last two awards, woo hoo! I'm going "Glee" for Comedy and "Mad Men" for drama. Let's see about this...

Drama....MAD MEN! Woot! I'm thrilled because a) I never guess correctly and b) I love "Mad Men" and everything associated with it.

Comedy...Modern Family! I was wrong, but still thrilled! Seriously, "Modern Family" is an AWESOME show. You should watch it.

So, that does it for me at the Emmys. Time to go do something productive. You know, like, write.